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It happens every weekday evening across the entire land of Israel. Dates involving religiously observant Jews who have been brought together by a matchmaker take place in hotel lobbies, in certain approved cafes and pubs, and also in family homes. In the dark. A secret spring at night? Suddenly my secular dates sound so dull. As a secular woman, I would find it quite frightening to go to a spring in the dark on a first date, but for them it lacks the connotations that we attribute to it.
Some of them, she discovered, work as husband-and-wife teams: a rabbi and head of the yeshiva, and his wife — the rabbanit rebbetzin, in Yiddish. Young women from all over the country seeking attractive young men enrolled in a prestigious yeshiva will, for example, often turn to the rabbanit.
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Matchmakers access members’ profiles to find and suggest potential matches, and members can also search the data base to see limited information about members, excluding photos, names, and contact details. Tens of thousands of Jewish singles and marrieds alike have done so through Rebbetzen Esther Jungreis’ Hineini organization.
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The host and hostess, an affable husband-and-wife team, stood erect and at the ready, she with a hotel desk bell in hand. Twenty men and 20 women shook hands across morsel-size cafe tables in the private back room of a Glatt kosher restaurant on the Upper West Side and rapidly conversed. The questions came faster than a hungry greyhound.
There was, after all, only eight minutes to chat before the men were told to rotate, round-robin style, to other tables, where women eagerly or apprehensively awaited them. In the end, each person would have seven ”dates,” each eight minutes long. It’s called SpeedDating, and it’s the latest wrinkle in the Jewish singles scene. Its inventors at Aish HaTorah, an international Jewish educational resource center, said they came up with the idea more than a year ago during a brainstorming session on how to discourage intermarriage and preserve Jewish heritage.
Of course, its founders are also trying to promote SpeedDating as an alternative to seemingly interminable blind dates, in which men and women with no chemistry struggle to make small talk. In SpeedDating, participants fill in a yes or no answer on a rectangular card after each date indicating whether they would like to see the person again.
If a match is made — if a man and woman both decide they want to see each other — coordinators provide them with each other’s phone number within 48 hours. The rapid-fire matchmaking was begun in Los Angeles, then spread to 15 cities and 5 countries, including Australia and South Africa. Weiss said that 18 or 19 matches came out of the SpeedDating session he held at Levana, a kosher French Mediterranean restaurant on the Upper West Side.
The program’s participants, on the other hand, gave it mixed reviews. He went out with both women.
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Weekend Stream: This Israeli Drama About Orthodox Singles That’s a Lot Like ‘Friends’
Follow him on Twitter eatpraylusk to send suggestions for future installments. One Zionist rabbi even put the show under religious ban. This show was one of the first — and maybe best — to fully portray modern orthodoxy on TV. While it offended some inside the community, it proved to be successful as it provided insight into an otherwise insular world.
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We hear a lot about the shidduch crisis and who is and is not responsible. Are the so-called marriage mentors, dating mentors and, yes, even some rabbis part of the solution or part of the problem? The shidduch crisis that has in recent years caused a panic throughout the more Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox Jewish enclaves in New York, New Jersey and other states stems from two factors: the rapid growth of the ultra-Orthodox community and the marriage-age differential between men and women in these communities.
Ultra-Orthodox women are typically ready to marry by age 19, after a post-high school year in seminary, while the men continue their religious studies into their early 20s. That scenario, plus the rapid growth of these communities—an estimated 3 percent per year—means more year-old women than year-old men. An op-ed in The Jewish Press suggested that female singles should consider surgical enhancements, like a nose job.